My Awakening Journey

Not everyone’s spiritual awakening is brought on by some kind of miracle. More often than not it is less glamorous. It is our suffering that gives rise to our desire to awaken.

Well, my story is no different. 

We live in extra-ordinary times for those embarking on their journey of awakening. Much information is available to those that are questioning their existence at a much deeper level. Easy access to information can quickly grow our understanding of who we are and why we are here, as much as it can lead us astray. 

It’s important we find a balance between information, our mind and our being, during these times of great change.

I feel I was gifted a new and magical life. I realized life doesn’t really start, until you start awakening to who you are and why you are here. 

Below is a very brief overview of what happened on my spiritual awakening journey:

In A Nutshell

The last 5 years or so, were by far the most challenging of my life. There was a lot of positive challenge, wonderment and amazing experiences. But I also had to face the darkest of times. I suffered a lot and hit rock bottom a few times. Only to find out months later, there was yet a lower level to hit.

I was forced to face my own shadows and demons over and over. I decided it was time to stop, turn around and face my fears. I had to learn to let go of everything I was overly attached to. A stripping away of all I had built up since birth.

There was much suffering, until finally I had to completely let go and surrender to what is. The hardest thing I ever had to do, by far! Having been a take action and take charge kind of person most my life.

My life feels a thousand times lighter now, compared to when I started this journey of spiritual awakening.

After much trial and error, I learned how to release thoughts, emotions and energies that no longer served me. I stopped resisting the cyclical nature of existence and our lives. I learned how to purify my mind, body and emotions and to clear the heaviness that had accumulated over the years.

I know there will still be many new challenges coming my way, but I no longer resist them. To be challenged is to grow and to be alive.
Challenge always results in a deepening of being, which is more valuable than gold.

This is the inner alchemy of life. Using the lead you’ve been dealt in life, the experiences that still weigh you down vs. resisting them. To take the lead and transform it into spiritual gold, your gifts. I really enjoy sharing this principle with others, because the impact on our lives is so profound when we practice this.

You’ll never look back once you really grasp these concepts and start to live by them.
More and more of your inner wealth will become available to you, as you continue on your own spiritual awakening journey. Which will bring you a whole new sense of freedom. True freedom that originates from within.

But it didn’t start out that way for me…

Not by a long shot.

If you are interested to read more about my journey of spiritual awakening and how it all started, you can read more below.

My First 35 Solar Laps

The first 35 years of my life were exciting, yet “standard” and not the purpose of this story.
I won’t waste many words or much of your time on it.
I grew up in Diepenbeek, a small town in Belgium.

After graduating College as a Bachelor’s in Electro-Mechanical engineering. I started working in IT for a large American Corporation. Working with computers, people from diverse cultures and travelling the world. It was my dream job.

I got the opportunity to move to the United States at age 26, where I enjoyed a diverse and successful international career. I “climbed the ladder” in corporate America and learned from so many amazing people. I learned about the good, the bad and the downright ugly in corporate America.

I enjoyed life, a little too much at times, burning the candle on both ends. The job was demanding at times. I didn’t pay attention to the signs however and kept “going for it”. Ignoring that my health and happiness were slowly, but surely, eroding.

I started suffering more and more on the inside, beneath the surface, despite a life of excess on the outside.
All that came to a screeching halt on July 20th, 2012.
Nothing would ever be the same after that day.

It marks the official start of the end for my “old way of life”.

D-Day

Belgium July 20th, 2012. It was day 23812 of her life and would be Mom’s final day on Earth.

We knew what day and time she was going, because a few days earlier Mom got her wish granted by a panel of doctors. After a rigorous process and evaluation, she got her wish granted to end her suffering and life through euthanasia.

The details of that day are hazy. I was a complete mess most months and pretty much every day leading up to this day. I had to pull myself together for hours, before I could go into the hospital to see her. My best friend suffering this much and about to leave my life forever. I never thought I’d experience this. It felt surreal. I could and would not accept it.

Especially that last day I could barely keep it together. Yet there was a special feeling I felt around Mom, underneath all the sadness we all felt within. Especially the last time our eyes met, that feeling never left me. I didn’t know it at the time, but it would change me forever.

Moments before leaving our world we said goodbye. She looked me in the eyes with her eyes full of light. Her expression was one of total peace and surrender. Ready to venture into the unknown. She gazed deep within my inner being and said she was so proud of everything I had done and become. She told me to “make the most of it and live fully”.

I cracked an uncomfortable smile and promised her I would. I intended to, but underneath that promise and smile, I was absolutely crushed and devastated. Unsure what I felt at any given time, let alone about the future. I wanted to go with her more than anything during that time.

I just kept wanting to wake up to realize it was all a dream, but that didn’t happen… yet.

Awakening

Fall of 2012, I hit rock bottom.

My career was going great. I was earning more than I ever had, with more ease than ever.

But that was about it. I had no real desire for life anymore. I felt empty and completely devastated. The most important person in my life was no longer with me and I just couldn’t get over it. The grief and sadness were hollowing me out from within.

As I was lying there on rock bottom, quite literally on the floor of my house. I had no more fight left in me and one day had to surrender to it. In that moment of surrendering to the feeling of deep & complete despair, I had an insight.

A flash of light that sparked the journey of my spiritual awakening. For a brief moment my rigid scientific mind had opened beyond the idea of a mere physical existence. The cat was out of the bag.

This was followed by a series of experiences, involving my Mom, that completely defied my logical mind. I did some research and I realized my scientific and other beliefs about life and death were mostly wrong. I had over time accepted a bunch of lies about life and even arrogantly defended them, as if I knew anything. I realized there was an entire unseen world out there. One I had stubbornly blocked out of my awareness, like most of us are taught to do.

I decided to ditch most of my beliefs. If they were true, they would come back to me. Once my mind opened up to a completely new perspective, there was no stopping. Quickly my old perceptions of our world, life and myself were shattered into a million pieces. This happened in a matter of months.

I understood didn’t know anything about life or who I was, but I was determined to find out.
My spiritual awakening journey had officially begun.

 

All-In

Super Bowl weekend 2015, Las Vegas. We are in line for one of the night clubs in Las Vegas, for my friend’s bachelor’s party. By now, well into my journey of spiritual awakening, my view vs. the “mainstream view” of the world, couldn’t be further apart.

Not only that, but also my perception had changed drastically. Through various practices I perceived much more of the subtle energies that surround us in our world. As we were standing there ,the ridiculousness of the whole scene and how we live our lives smacked me in the face.

Everybody so busy trying to be someone. Anyone but themselves. Not knowing who they are. Yet, trying to copy and get approval from other people who have no clue who they are.

What is the point of this unconscious circus most of us “live” through?

Born clueless about who we are. Then it’s time to create an identity and live up to it. An identity formed by the influence of others. Others, who don’t know who they are either.

You force yourself throughout life to maintain and improve this false sense of self. Spending most of your time doing things you don’t like or often being someone you’re not. Gathering things you won’t be able to take with you, when you die.
At some point you die, still not knowing who you are. The purposelessness of it all.

It was so clear to me, that without knowing who I am, none of this had any meaning. Any action or direction taken, without this knowing, was a complete shot in the dark.

How can you say you know anything, if you don’t even know who or what you are?

I realized my spiritual awakening journey took priority over anything else.

So, I went “All-In” Vegas style and decided to take a break from 15+ year successful corporate career.

One of the hardest decisions I ever made. I was walking away from everything I had worked so hard for, most my adult life.

The Biggest Gamble of my Life!

Peace out

May 15, 2015, My last day in the corporate world and the end of the “The Old Me”.

I didn’t know what I was going to do. I only knew what I was no longer going to do.

I was not going to unconsciously participate in life anymore. I was done following the example of others. Others who were as unhappy and clueless as I was. I wasn’t going to hold off anymore to find the answer to who I really am and what the purpose is in life.

It seemed simple enough at the time, but it proved to be a much bigger challenge than I anticipated.

In the summer of 2015 I started my “Walkabout”. I rented out my house and started my travels.

It’s one of the most exciting, yet one of the scariest things I’ve ever done.

The Walkabout

For over 3 years I traveled all over the world. Living with a wide variety of people. People of all ages, backgrounds, ethnicities, income levels and views on life. My research and studies went in over drive during this time.

I was on the personal coaching and self-improvement bandwagon big time. I studied with Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard and many other great teachers. To create a “new me” and different life was my number one priority. I became a certified life coach and started to shift my focus towards helping others for a living.

I wanted to take my spiritual and earthly knowledge that I had gathered and pick up a career again. I started to live what I learned, got in great shape and I felt things were turning around.
Meanwhile, I was learning full-time about relationships & human behavior on a whole different level. To live with so many different people and observing the dynamics and energies of people, brought me much insight and wisdom into life.

I saw and learned firsthand what drives or holds people back. What makes them tick or suffer. What causes conflict and what brings peace.
I became better at helping others move beyond life’s challenges and gain a new perspective. I also helped many embark on their own journey of spiritual awakening during my travels.

But my own journey would soon take another unexpected turn.

Point of no return

May 3rd, 2017, my Dad passed away unexpectedly. I didn’t make it back to Belgium in time to say goodbye, which sucked. I didn’t know it yet, but everything was about to be shattered once again, but at a very different level this time.

Here I was trying to build a new life and identity. But now both people, whose energies that live in my very veins and very DNA were no longer physically present.

If your parents are still around, you don’t think about these things. But when they are gone, even on a subconscious level it makes you question everything on a much deeper level.

A big part of your outer mirror dissolves. At least it did for me.

The grief didn’t nearly hit me as hard as it did with my Mom. I was very close to my Mom, which was part of it.

But I also was a completely different being, nearly 5 years after my Mom’s passing and my own journey of spiritual awakening. I was no longer burdened by the limited belief of death being the end of awareness.
But it proved to be much more challenging in an unexpected way.

I moved back into my house in August, 2017 in Cincinnati, after 2 years of travel. The end of my walkabout, but not of my journey towards spiritual awakening. It was time to root myself again, but this time the “new me”.

But I quickly started to realize, that you can’t step back into your old shoes. I had changed but my environment had stayed mostly the same. All my old programs started to come back, through energetic osmosis and challenge me again.

I started to feel lost again. I no longer fit into the world I had left behind. Yet the world I wanted to live in, hadn’t manifested in my life. I felt in no-man’s-land.

Trying hard not to fall into the dark crack between two worlds I was facing.

True Teacher

I met my teacher Max mid-October, 2017. Max has been my most profound teacher. He’s not a new age trick pony, like so many.

It was a mind-shattering moment for me to meet him. All I knew, is that I wasn’t going to be the same after leaving his presence and receiving his teachings.

He taught us ancient practices of self-realization. Practices that, until not so long ago, were kept secret in the East.

These practices allow us to come back into our full potential, without giving away your power to things or teachers outside yourself. Gradually awakening the dormant potential within us. We all have direct access to our full potential within. No middle-man needed.

A profound and soul-changing experience.

The process and journey of spiritual awakening, is 99% purification of the mind. The name of the game is to let go of all limiting concepts and beliefs that we hold on to. The conscious as well as the unconscious ones. The entire mind needs to be purified for our full potential to be realized.

So when I met Max, my mind had been stirred and all the darkness buried had to come to the surface.

This includes everything our parents leave unresolved within their being, including what they inherited from their ancestors and so on. It’s passed on from generation to generation, until the root, which lies in the mind is resolved.

I didn’t know this at the time, but I would soon experience this firsthand.

The Darkest Night

It was late 2017. Your typical cold and dark Ohio winter. Grief hit late and in unexpected ways. I lost my complete sense of self. I no longer had any idea of how I was going to re-integrate myself back into the world.

I felt my journey of spiritual awakening had led me into the abyss. I could not go back, yet didn’t know how to proceed.

All sorts of new fears and negative feelings started to well up from within me. I was puzzled as to where they were coming from. Until I realized I was receiving my energetic inheritance. Since my Dad had passed half a year before, I was getting pummeled by the ancestral energetic train.

I tripped and fell to the lowest point. I had to surrender like never before, but I fought it. I fought it hard. At the worst point I was either going to kill myself or surrender and be reborn into this body.

I got so depressed. Here I had run all over the world for all these years. Put a tremendous amount of time, money and effort into changing myself and my life. To return home, no longer able to fit into my old world and clueless about what my new world or self would look like. Both felt so far away.

I felt the lowest I ever had about myself. I could no longer live a lie, yet I had to find a way to make a living in this world. In a way that was aligned with who I was.

But who was I?

I had just lost any sense of self.

Spiritual Joruney Dark Night Of The Soul

Full Circle

It was clear, I had to face myself like never before. There was no fighting myself out of this spiritual quicksand I found myself in.

I stopped fighting the thoughts and worries. I chose to let myself feel the worst-case scenario that could happen with my life. I realized I was going to release all fears or I would manifest them over time in my life, if they kept festering in my mind.

Once again I found myself on the floor, getting washed over by a flood of emotions. It felt excruciating at times. But this time I kept surrendering into it and not afraid anymore to feel every worsening of each scenario. Not letting my mind distract me from feeling it fully. I let my self hit rock bottom on this journey through my mind.

That’s when the real click happened. A total emotional release took place and the bottom literally fell out in that moment. All left was light and energy.
I experienced that if we feel our feelings fully and surrender to what is. Then just like a pendulum these feelings will reverse their polarity, once they reach their full range in either direction. But only if you stop resisting the pendulum’s path, by making sure our minds don’t get in the way.

So much heaviness had been transformed in a flash. All I could do was laugh about the nature of the human circus. I can’t describe my experience of “reality” in that moment in a way the logical mind would understand. All I could do was laugh about it. Like when you realize in the morning it was all a dream.
I knew then my true recovery had started.

I realized how much more that I needed to let go of. Everything I had accumulated within, from a lifetime of experiences and beyond. All suppressed feelings and trauma’s. Everything we couldn’t handle early on in life, that we now have tucked away in the depths of our psyche. It all had to come out.
On top of that my outer world was still in disarray. I had no clue how I was going to integrate back into the world or what I would do.

But I had found my path, by realizing the only way out was in and to feel what is there. I no longer needed to run and now I knew how to face feelings fully as they arose. I had the inner toolkit now to deal with whatever would come up on my journey and during my spiritual awakening.

You are it

Knowing there is nowhere to go or hide and nothing to achieve “out there”.

It’s both the frustration and the beauty of being human.

It doesn’t matter whether you are rich or poor, everything you need for your spiritual awakening and journey is right within you.

Like an oak tree, we each have our own unique divine blueprint within. But it can’t be pieced together by copying pieces we like from other trees around us. It’s not something to be created by you.

We must let go of all the shells within, created by false beliefs about who or what we are and should be. It’s only then that the seed of our unlimited potential can start sprouting and unfold its magic in our lives.

All change starts within first. It’s a gradual process that unfolds, day by day and breath by breath. It’s about enjoying this journey of spiritual awakening and life, not the destination.

When you are no longer looking or grasping for it, the path shows itself.

The Water Way

My life’s journey and what I am bringing into our world to help others and our planet.  It’s all rooted deep within and built upon the wisdom my Mom imparted and showed us from a young age. 

She was a beautiful example and amazing teacher of “The Water Way”. She was a natural at it in many areas of her life. I was fortunate to be spoon fed the water way.

Through my own life experiences, my spiritual awakening journey and putting the knowledge received from my teachers into action, I gained a completely new perspective on life.

Allowing us to live and experience more deeply, yet with less effort. Less force.

To live, guided by your own higher wisdom vs. the borrowed knowledge of another.

Live your life fully and authentically. 

I call it “The Water Way”. 

My Passion

My passion and purpose is to help others discover that their divine potential is right under their nose.

To help guide others on their journey of spiritual awakening, without the need for dogma or giving our power away.

To teach others how to let go and surrender into a state of more and more flow and ease. 

Allowing yourself to open up again to all that you are and the wisdom that’s already within. 

Letting nature which you are a part of and which flows through you, show you the way. 

Transforming your life and the journey of spiritual awakening, into one of joy and wonderment.

The journey of spiritual awakening and life is not about rigidity, force and seriousness. 

We are born flexible and die stiff, for a reason, if that tells you anything.

It’s about flexibility, flow and playfulness. 

Finding your youthful energy and bliss again first.

It’s only then that your journey will start leading you towards you own spiritual awakening.

It all starts within.

That’s what I’m passionate about.